it's been one week

It's been one week since our precious Jubilee has passed.  Today was incredibly tough for me as I thought about how I should be taking her pictures and posting them on my blog. How I should be sniffing her and nursing and watching Zoe give her sweet kisses. I should not have been going back to work but rather cuddled up on the couch with my newborn.

Instead I went back to work tonight, spent most of my day crying, and attempted to pray through all the hurt.  Instead of whining though I will share some things I'm grateful for:
*family
*our church
*Zoe
*Aaron
*an incredibly quick recovery
*one of our boys giving me a hug as I walked in tonight
*wonderful friends
*knowing that others are praying for us
*a mostly clean apartment
*photos to remember Jubilee
*texts just to see how I'm holding up

There are so many questions that still go unanswered and that is hard but knowing that God is in control gives a sense of peace. I KNOW without Him I'd be falling apart instead of handling this without sobbing the entire day.

Please Lord Jesus give us comfort and fill us with your peace.